Just because many people do it, then it means it is the right thing.
Why the Majority Gets Stuck
Yesterday I had something new for lunch, rice with well-roasted sardines. It was something I occasionally ate, and when I did it was always satisfactory. But yesterday something fascinating developed.
I took the plate that I used for the sardines to the kitchen sink. It had a few sardines and rice remaining. I intended to wash the dishes after letting them sit for a few hours. When I came back to the kitchen the sink was full of ants.
Most of us don’t like ants, especially when they claim our spaces. I immediately cleaned the dishes and went on with my normal routine. A few hours passed; I went back to the kitchen to take some snacks, and I was greeted by quite a sight.
Through the kitchen window, I saw a convoy of ants working together to carry one of the sardines I had left at the sink. I looked at the top of the wall they were climbing and saw a hole that looked like their home base.
I was curious to see what would happen. The sardine was too long for the ants to maneuver easily. To fit it through the hole, they had to orient the fish vertically. However, the ants continued to move it sideways. I wanted to see if they were capable of solving the problem.
I was already impressed with how the team moved the sardine. They took it from the kitchen sink, went outside, and turned a few corners to reach the other side of the window. Then they coordinated together to climb a wall higher than I could reach.
I stayed there for half an hour observing them moving the sardines in all directions. They would take it to the left of the hole, then push it down, then up, then left again. It never worked.
The longer it took for it to go in, the more ants came to the party. Soon there were hundreds on the scene. The process was the same; they would take it up and down, left and right, trying to push it into the hole. It never worked. I left.
A few hours later I came back to observe the scene. Now there were more ants than before, but they still moved the same way. They kept going, even though they weren’t making progress.
I began to wonder what they thought when they first found the sardine. I imagined the first ant who saw the sardine and sounded the alarm. Its intention was to alert others to the abundance of food.
Then one ant suggested carrying it to their nest. And they all agreed it was a good idea. No ant paused and asked if it was possible to fit the sardine into the hole.
Now the idea gained momentum, more ants came and started moving the sardine to the wall, then to the hole. They all committed their energy to the task until it became a collective mission. The longer it took, the more attention it drew. More ants noticed and joined forces.
I wondered if there was a time that one of the ants paused and asked, is it possible to fit that sardine inside the hole? If one had, how would the hundreds of ants working so hard have responded?
Likely they condemned, laughed at and pushed the dissenter away for thinking of that. Every ant’s thought process was, “If everyone thinks this is the best idea, then it’s likely the best idea”.
They knew that opposing everyone on such an occasion was risky. The whole group would attack, reject, and hate the dissenter for questioning the feasibility of the task. This hostility would occur even though evidence showed the mission wasn’t working.
I caught myself processing all those thoughts. This reflection reminded me that humans behave like ants. On many occasions we follow the majority without asking if it is right.
The Problem: The Mental Model — The Majority as a Trap
Following the majority blindly often leads to a trap. It is difficult to think clearly and independently when surrounded by the majority. That is why it is important to pause and ask: Is this my own thinking or influenced by the majority?
This is especially important when making decisions involving personal life. Choices about marriage, career, happiness, and health are not meant for collective consensus. The majority will have their say, but the impact and outcomes are borne by the individual.
This idea is called contrarian thinking. It means thinking differently from most people. This helps you avoid being misled by popular opinion. However, it means not being different just to be different. It is about not letting group behaviour replace your own logic.
The ants failed not because of their nature. Their mistake was a failure of logic. Each one focused on the ant ahead and copied its method without checking if it was effective. Popularity became evidence. It should not have been.
The sardine never entered the hole. Hours of collective effort produced nothing. Energy, numbers, commitment — none of it mattered because the direction was wrong from the start.
This is not just an ant problem.
Where We Are the Ants
The ants had sardines. We have careers, relationships, dreams.
Marriage by Default
We all know people who marry not because they want to, but because everyone around them is marrying. They succumb to family pressure and social expectation.
Many people follow the crowd. They don’t stop to think about whether marriage is what they truly want, with this person, at this time.
These choices, made by most, lead to unhappy couples, divorces, regrets, and lasting resentment.
Dreams Deferred
We know someone with a real pursuit — a business, an artistic path, a life that does not fit the standard template. The majority calls it risky, impractical, or naive, and so the person stops.
They shelve the thing that was true for them and pick up something that makes sense to everyone else.
And years go by, the majority moves on, but this individual doesn’t. They regret not pursuing what they wanted. They hate doing what they are doing every day.
Paths Never Questioned
This applies to everything in life. Consider, there’s the person who never faced a major dream conflict and just followed the usual path. They stuck to college, career, and lifestyle. They didn’t choose these paths; they simply met expectations.
They are pushing the sardine head-on because that is how it has always been done. These people have never thought to ask if it actually fits the hole.
The solution: Second-Order Thinking
Most people ask, what happens if I do this? They stop there and simply act. This short-sightedness is like the ants who only ask what will happen if they carry a sardine to their hole, without considering if it will fit.
Second-order thinking asks: what will be the consequences of my first action? Instead of just acting, the ants should ask what happens once they reach the hole. Will the sardine fit? How will the other ants react? How much space will it take up inside?
Most people will only ask the first question and accept answers that the majority approves of.
Should I get married?
Should I take the job?
Should I start the business?
Should I believe what they say?
If everyone marries because marriage is the social default, you do not get a society of happy couples. You get a society of people who made a lifelong decision based on social pressure. The downstream effect lasts for generations. Unhappy homes teach children that commitment means fitting in, not love.
If everyone leaves the unconventional path because most people disapprove, who will create what doesn’t exist yet? Progress requires the person willing to be wrong in front of everyone.
For second-order thinking the questions go deeper
Most people ask only the first question and accept answers that the majority agrees on.
Should I get married? What will happen if I get married now? How will marriage affect my life, my career, my privacy and my independence?
Should I take the job? How will the job affect my life, marriage, hobbies, time, relationships, and other opportunities?
Should I start the business? How will the business affect my finances, my time, my peace of mind, my relationship and other opportunities?
Should I believe in what they say? How will that affect how I live, my family, my work, my business, my relationships , and more?
Every decision and action has consequences far beyond what we see at first. Most choices made simply because others make them carry long-term or even lifelong impacts.
Contrarian thinking and second order thinking are not about rejecting the majority for sport. It is not about being the person who always disagrees. It is about asking whether the collective approach actually fits your specific situation — your values, your life.
The sardine did not need to be thrown away. It did not need to be replaced with a different sardine. It needed to be rotated. Small adjustment. Different angle. Same destination.
Sometimes the majority is right. Get the education. Build the safety net. Wear the seatbelt. But sometimes the majority is just a crowd of ants who inherited a direction and never questioned it. Your job is to know the difference.
Contrarian thinking and second order thinking are mental models—the right tools.
The question is not whether the majority is wrong. The question is whether their answer is right for you.
The Closing
When I think of the ants and the sardine pushed to the wall, I’m still captivated by the memory of the round hole and the convoy joining the struggle.
Somewhere in that crowd, maybe one ant had a different instinct. Maybe it paused. Maybe it tried a slight angle. But it was surrounded by certainty — thousands of its kind all pushing the same way — and the weight of the collective is hard to resist.
Where in your life are you treating the sardine like a square peg you’re trying to force into a round hole?
Who around you is pushing it the same way and calling that evidence?
What would it take to rotate it?
Do not do something because many people are doing it. Do something that deep down you resonate with and if it fails you will be happy to take responsibility and start again.
The majority doesn’t know you better than you know yourself.
Until then,
Think deeply. Live deliberately.
Watushule