Important things in life come in threes, but life comes only once.
The need to reflect on our mortality as a fuel to get most out of life
Last week on Watushule I discussed why the most important things in life seem to come in threes. I concluded that the three most important things in anyone’s life are relationships, health, and work.
I promised to dive deeper into the key points within those three topics. Before I do that, I feel the need to address the elephant in the room.
Relationships, health, and work are key. However, they aren’t equally important or relevant at the same time.
When we are young, relationships with our family and relatives mean everything. Our survival depends on it. When we become adults, our survival doesn’t depend much on our relationships; it goes to our work. And when we are old, our survival is all dependent on how healthy we are.
But one of the major things that influence what becomes more important and when is time. With time, life pushes our circumstances to value one over the other. And the major point about life is that it ends.
We talked about the previous article, life comes in threes: the beginning, middle, and end. Birth, life, and death. We had nothing to do about our birth. There is nothing we can do about our deaths.
Relationships, work, and health are important only in relation to our short time on earth. Before we dig deeper into them, let us address the elephant in the room: we will all die. And that should not scare us; it should motivate us to make the most of life.
The fact that no matter what you do, want, achieve, or fail, you will die. No matter what country, region, religion, or group you are coming from, you will die. The fact that you do not know when and how you will die.
Death is life’s biggest motivation. It is such a strong force that it can paralyse some people into depression. Many become so afraid of it that they forget to think about it at all.
Marcus Aurelius, one of the top five emperors of Rome, wrote his well-known journal, Meditations.
“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do, say, and think.”
The emperor of the world’s mightiest empire thinks about death. This shows how strong the fear of death can be. He thought about death and realised that he needed reminders of how to feel, what to think, what to say, and what to do.
Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple, said in his famous commencement speech at Stanford that
“When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it were your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
I lost three friends around my age in ways that caused deep heartbreak. I felt connected to the words of Steve Jobs and Marcus Aurelius during those tough times.
The first friend passed away in his sleep at home, surrounded by a sense of calm. He had no medical issues, illnesses, or accidents. He was someone I studied with in high school and university. Someone who had so many ambitions and plans, hard-working, charming, and very humble. I always tell myself I could be next, any time.
The second friend died after saying he had stomach pain all afternoon. When taken to hospital, they said nothing was wrong; two hours later, he passed away. He planned to marry next month. He also ran a successful stationery business at the University of Dar es Salaam. That can be you next, anytime with any pain that you feel.
My third friend, who was fine during the day, started complaining of pain in the evening. They took him to the hospital, but he died before he could reach it. I studied with him at university. He had a great job at an international bank. Plus, he has got married a few months ago. That can be any one of us.
Knowing that death is near should inspire you. It’s a reason to avoid laziness, stop procrastinating, and steer clear of wrongdoing. Don’t hurt others or give up. Instead, take smart risks and always do your best.
Understanding that death can come at any time should inspire you to be a good person. It encourages humility, gratitude for what you have, and a desire to help others. Also, it reminds you to be mindful and make a positive impact on your society.
Realising that you could die at any moment should push you to work harder. Put in long hours and don’t give up after failure. Focus on making your dreams a reality in this short, uncertain life.
When we talk about the most important things in life—relationships, work, and health—it’s key to remember our mortality. That is like the fuel needed for our car.
Remember life by reflecting on death. Visit cemeteries, attend funerals, and read scriptures about mortality. Instead of feeling afraid or sad, let these reminders inspire you. Live with intensity and embrace this brief, uncertain gift.
In the next article, we will explore key aspects of relationships. We’ll cover basic principles and share best practices for living a meaningful and sustainable life.
Until then,
Think Deeply, Live Deliberately.
Watushule